You set a time for bed but you don’t go to bed on time. Why is this? What is stopping you from doing what you say you want to do?
Why You Don’t Want to Go to Bed on Time
There are a few theories as to why you don’t go to bed on time. One more recent one is that you may have an evening chronotype such as owl or wolf.
Another reason is that you may procrastinate at bedtime because you don’t want to stop your relaxing activity. Netflix anyone. The flip side of that is that if you get up to go to bed you may have other chores that you do first like taking the dog out of washing your face. You would rather continue to relax than put in the energy to get those things done so you can get to bed.
In relation to that is losing track of time from doing one more game or episode or chapter. You don’t even know what time it is.
You may have had a hard or stressful day with a lot of decisions and just don’t want to make one more. Which also relates to having a low threshold for temptation in the evening after you have been good all day.
There is rarely a person that doesn’t want to or enjoy sleep. But some people think that they won’t be able to go to sleep and continue to stay awake instead of going to bed to avoid tossing and turning.
Why You Need to Go to Bed on Time
When you don’t go to sleep on time, your body doesn’t get the time it needs to process your day, clear your brain, remove toxins, and prepare for the next day.
Many of the processes in sleep are there to remove and reset things from the brain and body. Then you are ready to start all over again in the morning.
When you don’t rest properly you can have problems with memory and decision making. You might be more sleepy during the day which can be a risk depending on what activities you are doing.
It can decrease physical health and cause irritability and difficulties regulating emotions.
When you consistently lack sleep, the symptoms compound which can increase the risk of disease, decrease immunity, and problems with impulse control.
Change Your Thoughts About Going to Bed on Time
One of the ways that can be very helpful in getting to bed on time is changing your thoughts around it. If you tell yourself and believe that bedtime is good for you above all else then it will be easier to go to bed.
Whatever the reason you are not going to bed can be thought of differently so that you can go to bed.
Chronotype
If you are a nighttime person, decide your bedtime based on that fact. You may be able to go to bed later at 11 pm or midnight without a problem if you are waking at 7 or 8 am.
If you need to wake a 6 am then you may need to change your thoughts to allow you to go to bed at 9 or 10 pm. It is important for you to understand how much sleep you need to feel good.
An important part of believing a new thought is having evidence. Try to remember previous days in which you felt great the next day and how much sleep you got before that day to estimate how much you need. If you can’t think of any then you can always track on a weekend allowing yourself to go to bed when you are sleepy and wake up without an alarm to estimate how much sleep your body likes. Then you can set your bedtime based on that evidence and believe that it is a time that is best for your body and current waketime situation.
Enjoying Activity or Not Wanting to do Before Bed Chores
What if you typically don’t go to bed because you are enjoying an activity or do not want to get up to do the evening before bed chores. You can change what you need to do before bed or do it earlier in the evening.
Change your thoughts and tell yourself the benefits of sleep. How good it will feel to fall into your bed and wrap the covers around you.
You can also tell yourself when you will get to that next episode or chapter. Then you don’t feel like you are missing out. Your brain can let it go because you have a plan to move forward.
Just Don’t Want to
What if you just want to do what you want to do? Change your desire. If your current desire is for Netflix, you can supersede that with another stronger desire.
You can tell yourself, out loud if it won’t bother anyone, that you desire to sleep. Say it over and over again and your brain will start to look for ways to get you to sleep. It may mean you turn off the tv and fall asleep in the chair. But that is a start towards you getting back into a routine of going to sleep.
Tips for Going to Bed on Time
Find the evidence for how much sleep you actually need. As indicated above that can be as simple as remembering the amount of sleep you got recently when you felt great in the morning. Another way to test is by going to bed and waking without disruption to see how long your body chooses to sleep and if you feel good when you wake.
Set a timer or reminder or app on your phone to tell you to go to bed. If that is not working and the tv is the problem, set the tv to turn off at a specific time. If you are getting lost in an activity, this also helps to give you awareness of the time.
Make your bedtime routine simple. If you typically put animals to bed, have a lot of things you do to get ready for bed such as removing make-up or contacts, setting your coffee maker for the morning, or anything else that takes time and energy, do it early in the evening. Before you sit down to relax, get as many of those evening routine activities done as possible so there is a lower barrier to getting into bed.
Create a plan if you always seem to have to finish a book or Netflix series earlier in the day. Plan for a certain number of chapters or episodes and stop once you reach your planned amount. That way you are not continuing that activity all night long. You can do it.
Remember don’t change the plan at night. You made the plan when you were thinking about how much sleep you need. In the moment that may feel hard but have integrity with yourself.
Most importantly is to change your thoughts around the behavior of procrastinating sleep. You are a sleep master. You can use some of the other tips to set yourself up to get to bed on time. This just requires you to think about it earlier in the day. Then when bedtime comes you just need to tell yourself you are a sleep master and master your plan to go to bed.
Ask for Support
Sometimes the best thing you can do is have someone in your ear encouraging you to become the sleep master. I know you can be. If you find that you are still struggling with going to bed on time and it is not a medical condition causing the problem, then hop on a free consultation call to discuss what is going on to see if we can work together.
Remember everyone is unique and these common strategies may not fully meet your unique needs. A coach can help you work through your unique needs to find what works for you.
